Leaving Shore and Finally Coming Home

The sincere relief of coming to the realization that the one you loved is no longer the one you want is a good feeling. For the longest time I couldn't get over her, she would be on my mind literally all the time. No more.

As the Beatles once said:

"One Day, You'll look,
To see I've gone.
For tomorrow may rain,
So I'll follow the sun.
One Day, You'll know,
I was the one.
For tomorrow may rain,
So I'll follow the sun."

When she finally comes to that realization I no longer will be on the shore waiting. I will have taken aloft on a new journey of my own. Moved on to another one who may love me back for who I am. One who is not particularly about looks. Although she would say that is not what mattered most, her actions and thoughts sure spoke a different tale.

Until next time fellow readers.. if there are indeed any,

Lee Martin - "Kash"

When the World Just Doesn't Make Sense

Iris brings back memories. It seems to have made me fall back again.
The song takes on an entirely different meaning now.

"Cuz I don't think that they'd understand"

I hate how i feel,
I hate how every time someone logs onto AIM, I have to check to see if its her,
I hate how I hope she IM's me,
I hate how i hope that the text I'm receiving is from her,
I hate how everytime I'm with her, I want to hold her hand,
I hate how everytime i look at her, I want to stare into her eyes,
I hate how weak she can make me feel,
I hate how I want to stop, but I can't,
I hate how I can't let her go,
I hate her.
But I also hate how I really don't hate her at all.

This is me after many hours of thinking and being alone in boredom.

Back to the Shubs

I'm not sure whether it was the knock to my head or something else, but as of late I have been reminiscing on the past. I've backdated about 2 years of musical interests and have gone back to listening bands such as: Yellowcard, Something Corporate, Rufio, Old School Green Day, Good Charlotte, The Beatles, and Jimmy Eat World. I think more and more about my life each day. Things I've gone through, things that I've done, and things I've seen, that have formed the very basis of my persona.

Lets take it all back... back to the days of watching Nick at Night, and waiting for the release of that new movie on the Disney Channel. The days you took for granted of sitting at that lunch table with your friends. Back to the time when you sat around and listened to music dreaming of that girl that would steal your heart. The days that were so easy yet it always felt like your life was ending or falling apart.

Sometimes, its hard to understand life. When your in school, you hate it and want summer to come. But once summer is here... for some reason you want it to end and for school to start so you can see your friends. For years you would dream about love, but then once you have it and lose it, you somewhat wish you never had it. But you soon realize the old saying is right: "It is better to have loved and lost, then to have never loved at all."

I guess the point I'm trying to make after sitting here for a while in deep thought, is that although you're always told not to take life for granted, you never truly realize it until one day it hits you... that or a golf club does.

"Don't take life too seriously, you'll never get out of it alive." - Van Wilder
"Live as if you'll die tomorrow, learn as if you'll live forever." - Mahatma Ghandi

"Live Dangerously, Love Passionately." - Me, and my future tattoo.

Thank you for reading,
Lee Martin

Chat with Society - Part One

Be yourself

People need to live for themselves. If your busy trying to project an image to others, you'll soon lose who you really are. I don't care if your straight/gay/bi... be that. Show people that. Let people know you are proud of who you are.

I'm not endorsing nor advising you to flaunt it. The complete opposite. You don't need to prove to anyone who your are. If they are your friends or care about you, they will understand that. Otherwise they were never worth your time in the first place.

People need to grow up. They start rumors about things that have no bearing whatsoever on their life, and capitalize on them simply because theres nothing exciting happening in their lives. Its not just on their end that takes the blame. Its also on the end of the person being rumored about who majority of the time lets it get to them. By letting it get to them, they are failing themselves. They are letting someone elses opinions and thoughts dictate who they are. Or what image they need to project.

Who honestly cares what some random person is saying about you during this time in your life. High school on the scale of your life is but a fraction of it. A tiny piece of the accumulations of successes and failures in your life. A stepping stone to who you will inevitably become.

Will you let some other person who feelings and perspectives are not your own tell you who you will be or how you will act? Or will you show the world that you are you and damn proud of it! In 10 years do you want to look at yourself and see a mainstream conformist whose likes and dislikes, appearance and sexual orientation are dictated by society? Or will you see a unique individual who is proud of who they are with no regrets?

As the old saying goes: "Great minds DO NOT think alike, otherwise they wouldn't be great in the first place."

Thank you for reading,
Lee Martin