Saturday, August 18, 2007

This is me spilling my heart out from words I've been trying desperately to hide.

Boy do my titles seem pretty emo sometimes... If anyone is wondering (though I highly doubt I have any readers.) what the last title translated to, look no further.

"Tire Me a Las Arañas" translates directly to "Throw me to the spiders." A title that was featured on The Mars Volta's album "De-Loused in the Comatorium."

A few updates in my life... I'm attempting to learn the song Ramble On by Led Zeppelin, featured on their 1969 "Led Zeppelin II" album. One of my favorite songs by them.

Leaves are falling all around,
It's time I was on my way.
Thanks to you, I'm much obliged
For such a pleasant stay.
But now it's time for me to go,
The autumn moon lights my way.
For now I smell the rain,
And with it pain,
And it's headed my way.
Ah, sometimes I grow so tired,
But I know I've got one thing I got to do,

*Ramble On,
And now's the time, the time is now
To sing my song.
I'm goin' 'round the world,
I got to find my girl, on my way.
I've been this way ten years to the day, Ramble On,
Gotta find the queen of all my dreams.

Got no time to for spreadin' roots,
The time has come to be gone.
And tho' our health we drank a thousand times,
It's time to Ramble On.

* Chorus

I ain't tellin' no lie.
Mine's a tale that can't be told,
My freedom I hold dear;
How years ago in days of old
When magic filled the air,
T'was in the darkest depths of Mordor
I met a girl so fair,
But Gollum, and the evil one crept up
And slipped away with her.
Her, her....yea.
Ain't nothing I can do, no.

* Chorus

Gonna ramble on, sing my song
Gotta keep-a-searchin' for my baby...
Gonna work my way, round the world
I can't stop this feelin' in my heart
Gotta keep searchin' for my baby
I can't find my bluebird!
I'd listen to my bluebird sing but I can't find my blue bird
A-keep-a ramblin' baby..."


Lastly, a funny little conversation I recieved earlier today.

----------------------------
HER: My dad asked if I was dating you again.
HER: lol
ME: haha
HER: I was like no and then he said i'm sure he wants to and I was like I don't think so
ME: my hair won't stop sticking up
----------------------------


She'll just never know I guess...

"Tira Me a Las Arañas"

New haircut. I got it yesterday while at the mall. Looked good right out of the shop, but is such a hassle now, the next day.

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Yes... I know I look like my father in that last picture.

I guess it shows as weakness

Its funny and quite ironic, yet confusing all the same.

A girl of whom I have been madly in love with for the past 9 months, is having the dilemma that a boy she really likes is oblivious to the fact that she likes him and is right in front of him just waiting for him to reach out and acknowledge her.

Anyone with the capacity of thought can clearly see how this is ironic in my situation. Here I stand, still unable to put her from my mind. I have tried forcing myself to get over her. And for the longest time, I did.

When I sleep, I dream of her. When I lie around, bored out of my mind, I think of her. The best part of my week is Friday when I get to see her at the mall. During the school year, I purposely go the longer route to see her. Even if what she did was outragous and pissed me off to such an extent as for me not to talk to her, I will still purposely go and see her.

Yet she is oblivious.

This is a trying time for us all. The boy she likes happens to be a good friend of mine for the past 6, going on 7, years. He won't touch her because of me. (Even though he already kissed her.) He says thats as far as it will go. But now I face the repercussions that my favor in her eyes will diminish as if I told him to do that. So I'm put into a position of giving the go ahead for something that will surely tear me apart, or diminish in her eyes, but the results will be the same.

If there is a god... please help me.

FUCK

"Say what you want, say what you mean.
Question yourself are you really what you seem?
Say who you are, say what you mean.
Question yourself, are you really what you dream?"

"And I really don't want to fall... back.
Because you don't seem like you care.
And if I would fall back."

- Hey Hey, Dispatch