Somewhere Out There

S O M E W H E R E O U T T H E R E
By Our Lady Peace

"Last time I talked to you
You were lonely and out of place
You were looking down on me
Lost out in space

We laid underneath the stars
Strung out and feeling brave
I watched the red orange glow
I watched you float away
Down here in the atmosphere
Garbage and city lights
You've gone to save your tired soul
You've gone to save our lives

I turned on the radio
To find you on satellite
I'm waiting for the sky to fall
I'm waiting for a sign

And all we are
Is all so far

You're falling back to me
The star that I can see yeah
I know your out there, somewhere out there
You're falling out of reach
Defying gravity yeah
I know you're out there, somewhere out there

Hope you remember me
When you're home sick and need a change
I miss your purple hair
I miss the way you taste
I know you'll come back some day
On a bed of nails I wait
I'm praying that you don't burn out or fade away

And all we are
Is all so far

You're falling back to me
The star that I can see yeah
I know your out there, somewhere out there
You're falling out of reach
Defying gravity yeah
I know you're out there, somewhere out there

You're falling back to me
The star that I can see
I know your out there, ohhh
Your falling out of reach
Defying gravity
I know you're out there, somewhere out there

Your falling back to me
The star that I can see yeah
I know your out there, somewhere out there
Your falling out of reach
Defying gravity yeah
I know you're out there, somewhere out there

You're falling back to me
I know, I know
You're falling out of reach ohhhhhh
I know..."

Updating How I Post.

For now on, I won't continue posting tedious ramblings of a crazed teenager, but rather post lyrics to songs that symbolize how I currently feel. It it up to you, the reader, to deduce what I'm trying to say.

For this weeks lyrics:

K O N S T A N T I N E
By Something Corporate

" I can't imagine all the people that you know
And the places that you go
When the lights are turned down low
And I don't understand
All the things you've seen
But I'm slipping in between
You and your big... dreams
it's always you and my big dreams

And you tell me
That it's over
But I can't stand here in a patch of four leaf clover
And your restless
And I'm naked
You've got to get out
You can't stand to see me shaking
no, cuz you let me go

and you don't want to be here in the future
So you say
**the presents just a pleasant
Interruption to the past**
And you don't want to look much closer
'Cause you're afraid to find out all the hope
That you had sent into the sky by now had... crashed
and it did because of me

And then you bring me home
Afraid to find out that you're alone, no
And I'm sleeping in your living room
But we don't have much room
To live

I had dreams that I would learn to play guitar
Maybe cross the country
Become a rockstar
And there was hope in me
That I could take you there
Dammit you're so young
But I don't think I care
and if I hurt you then i'm sorry
its just this guilt has got the best of me

And then you bring me home
'Cause we both know what its like to be alone, no
And I'm dreaming in your living room
But we don't have much room
To live

Konstantine is coming down the stairs
Doesn't she look good
Standing in her underwear?
And I've been thinking
What I've been thinking, you know
But she's been drinking
And it doesn't get me anywhere.

Konstantine came walking down the stairs
And all that I could do
Was touch her long blond hair
And I was thinking
What I was thinking
But we've been drinking
And it doesn't get me anywhere.

This is because I can spell konfusion with a K
It's hard to like it
It's to dying in anothers arms
and why i had to try it
It's to jimmy eat world
and those nights in my car
but this time I'm alone
and I don't see those stars
I'm not your star
Isn't that what you said
what you thought this song meant
you thought this song meant

If this is what it takes
to lie in my mistakes
and live with what I did to you
and all the things i've put you through
I always catch the clock it's 11:11
And now you want to talk
it's not hard to dream
You'll always be my Konstantine

They'll never hurt you like I do
No, They'll never hurt you like I do
No, No, No, No, No, No, No, No

This is to a girl who got into my head
with all these pretty things she did
Hey Baby, You know that you keep me up in bed
It's to a girl who got into my head
with all the fucked up things I did
Hey Maybe Baby, You could keep me up in bed
My Konstantine

Spin Around me like a Dream
We played out on this movie screen
And i said, did you know I missed you
Did you know I missed you
Did you know I missed you
Did you know I missed you
Did you know I missed you
Did you know I missed you
Did you know I missed you

Oh God I Miss You

And then you bring me home
And we'll go to sleep but this time not alone, no No,
And you'll kiss me in your living room, oh
And you see no,
what I've been missing in my living room
Cause it's all you
yeah this is what i've missed
what i've missed
We don't have much room
I said, Does anybody really need that room
'cause we all need a little but of room
To Live

...My Konstantine"

This is me spilling my heart out from words I've been trying desperately to hide.

Boy do my titles seem pretty emo sometimes... If anyone is wondering (though I highly doubt I have any readers.) what the last title translated to, look no further.

"Tire Me a Las Arañas" translates directly to "Throw me to the spiders." A title that was featured on The Mars Volta's album "De-Loused in the Comatorium."

A few updates in my life... I'm attempting to learn the song Ramble On by Led Zeppelin, featured on their 1969 "Led Zeppelin II" album. One of my favorite songs by them.

Leaves are falling all around,
It's time I was on my way.
Thanks to you, I'm much obliged
For such a pleasant stay.
But now it's time for me to go,
The autumn moon lights my way.
For now I smell the rain,
And with it pain,
And it's headed my way.
Ah, sometimes I grow so tired,
But I know I've got one thing I got to do,

*Ramble On,
And now's the time, the time is now
To sing my song.
I'm goin' 'round the world,
I got to find my girl, on my way.
I've been this way ten years to the day, Ramble On,
Gotta find the queen of all my dreams.

Got no time to for spreadin' roots,
The time has come to be gone.
And tho' our health we drank a thousand times,
It's time to Ramble On.

* Chorus

I ain't tellin' no lie.
Mine's a tale that can't be told,
My freedom I hold dear;
How years ago in days of old
When magic filled the air,
T'was in the darkest depths of Mordor
I met a girl so fair,
But Gollum, and the evil one crept up
And slipped away with her.
Her, her....yea.
Ain't nothing I can do, no.

* Chorus

Gonna ramble on, sing my song
Gotta keep-a-searchin' for my baby...
Gonna work my way, round the world
I can't stop this feelin' in my heart
Gotta keep searchin' for my baby
I can't find my bluebird!
I'd listen to my bluebird sing but I can't find my blue bird
A-keep-a ramblin' baby..."


Lastly, a funny little conversation I recieved earlier today.

----------------------------
HER: My dad asked if I was dating you again.
HER: lol
ME: haha
HER: I was like no and then he said i'm sure he wants to and I was like I don't think so
ME: my hair won't stop sticking up
----------------------------

She'll just never know I guess...

"Tira Me a Las Arañas"

New haircut. I got it yesterday while at the mall. Looked good right out of the shop, but is such a hassle now, the next day.




Yes... I know I look like my father in that last picture.

I guess it shows as weakness

Its funny and quite ironic, yet confusing all the same.

A girl of whom I have been madly in love with for the past 9 months, is having the dilemma that a boy she really likes is oblivious to the fact that she likes him and is right in front of him just waiting for him to reach out and acknowledge her.

Anyone with the capacity of thought can clearly see how this is ironic in my situation. Here I stand, still unable to put her from my mind. I have tried forcing myself to get over her. And for the longest time, I did.

When I sleep, I dream of her. When I lie around, bored out of my mind, I think of her. The best part of my week is Friday when I get to see her at the mall. During the school year, I purposely go the longer route to see her. Even if what she did was outragous and pissed me off to such an extent as for me not to talk to her, I will still purposely go and see her.

Yet she is oblivious.

This is a trying time for us all. The boy she likes happens to be a good friend of mine for the past 6, going on 7, years. He won't touch her because of me. (Even though he already kissed her.) He says thats as far as it will go. But now I face the repercussions that my favor in her eyes will diminish as if I told him to do that. So I'm put into a position of giving the go ahead for something that will surely tear me apart, or diminish in her eyes, but the results will be the same.

If there is a god... please help me.

FUCK

"Say what you want, say what you mean.
Question yourself are you really what you seem?
Say who you are, say what you mean.
Question yourself, are you really what you dream?"

"And I really don't want to fall... back.
Because you don't seem like you care.
And if I would fall back."

- Hey Hey, Dispatch

Leaving Shore and Finally Coming Home

The sincere relief of coming to the realization that the one you loved is no longer the one you want is a good feeling. For the longest time I couldn't get over her, she would be on my mind literally all the time. No more.

As the Beatles once said:

"One Day, You'll look,
To see I've gone.
For tomorrow may rain,
So I'll follow the sun.
One Day, You'll know,
I was the one.
For tomorrow may rain,
So I'll follow the sun."

When she finally comes to that realization I no longer will be on the shore waiting. I will have taken aloft on a new journey of my own. Moved on to another one who may love me back for who I am. One who is not particularly about looks. Although she would say that is not what mattered most, her actions and thoughts sure spoke a different tale.

Until next time fellow readers.. if there are indeed any,

Lee Martin - "Kash"

When the World Just Doesn't Make Sense

Iris brings back memories. It seems to have made me fall back again.
The song takes on an entirely different meaning now.

"Cuz I don't think that they'd understand"

I hate how i feel,
I hate how every time someone logs onto AIM, I have to check to see if its her,
I hate how I hope she IM's me,
I hate how i hope that the text I'm receiving is from her,
I hate how everytime I'm with her, I want to hold her hand,
I hate how everytime i look at her, I want to stare into her eyes,
I hate how weak she can make me feel,
I hate how I want to stop, but I can't,
I hate how I can't let her go,
I hate her.
But I also hate how I really don't hate her at all.

This is me after many hours of thinking and being alone in boredom.

Back to the Shubs

I'm not sure whether it was the knock to my head or something else, but as of late I have been reminiscing on the past. I've backdated about 2 years of musical interests and have gone back to listening bands such as: Yellowcard, Something Corporate, Rufio, Old School Green Day, Good Charlotte, The Beatles, and Jimmy Eat World. I think more and more about my life each day. Things I've gone through, things that I've done, and things I've seen, that have formed the very basis of my persona.

Lets take it all back... back to the days of watching Nick at Night, and waiting for the release of that new movie on the Disney Channel. The days you took for granted of sitting at that lunch table with your friends. Back to the time when you sat around and listened to music dreaming of that girl that would steal your heart. The days that were so easy yet it always felt like your life was ending or falling apart.

Sometimes, its hard to understand life. When your in school, you hate it and want summer to come. But once summer is here... for some reason you want it to end and for school to start so you can see your friends. For years you would dream about love, but then once you have it and lose it, you somewhat wish you never had it. But you soon realize the old saying is right: "It is better to have loved and lost, then to have never loved at all."

I guess the point I'm trying to make after sitting here for a while in deep thought, is that although you're always told not to take life for granted, you never truly realize it until one day it hits you... that or a golf club does.

"Don't take life too seriously, you'll never get out of it alive." - Van Wilder
"Live as if you'll die tomorrow, learn as if you'll live forever." - Mahatma Ghandi

"Live Dangerously, Love Passionately." - Me, and my future tattoo.

Thank you for reading,
Lee Martin

Chat with Society - Part One

Be yourself

People need to live for themselves. If your busy trying to project an image to others, you'll soon lose who you really are. I don't care if your straight/gay/bi... be that. Show people that. Let people know you are proud of who you are.

I'm not endorsing nor advising you to flaunt it. The complete opposite. You don't need to prove to anyone who your are. If they are your friends or care about you, they will understand that. Otherwise they were never worth your time in the first place.

People need to grow up. They start rumors about things that have no bearing whatsoever on their life, and capitalize on them simply because theres nothing exciting happening in their lives. Its not just on their end that takes the blame. Its also on the end of the person being rumored about who majority of the time lets it get to them. By letting it get to them, they are failing themselves. They are letting someone elses opinions and thoughts dictate who they are. Or what image they need to project.

Who honestly cares what some random person is saying about you during this time in your life. High school on the scale of your life is but a fraction of it. A tiny piece of the accumulations of successes and failures in your life. A stepping stone to who you will inevitably become.

Will you let some other person who feelings and perspectives are not your own tell you who you will be or how you will act? Or will you show the world that you are you and damn proud of it! In 10 years do you want to look at yourself and see a mainstream conformist whose likes and dislikes, appearance and sexual orientation are dictated by society? Or will you see a unique individual who is proud of who they are with no regrets?

As the old saying goes: "Great minds DO NOT think alike, otherwise they wouldn't be great in the first place."

Thank you for reading,
Lee Martin